September 17, 2012 § Leave a comment
How amazing is it that reading a good story can put one in such an inspired mood? I spent the whole of my day off yesterday reading an online story I found on Goodreads of all places. I had no idea they had anything except published books, but there is a good variety of free stories posted on various sites like fictionpress.
I spent my entire day off sitting and reading it and while it wasn’t good for my eyes, it was good for my soul. In fact, a lot of my recent books have fueled my desire to write, however briefly. I’ve taken up 750 words again to try and get back in the writing habit, and to possibly work out a story idea by November.
Maybe by typing it all out I can come up with something. Maybe I can just start building the world and the characters and see where it takes me. Except when I say that I am afraid of giving myself the most horrible writer’s block ever. Like last year. I don’t think I made it to 500 words before I closed my laptop and walked out of the coffee shop and didn’t look back at November. There were other factors but the main one being I had no steam. No drive. I feel lucky to have completed the nanowrimo challenge, but that may be part of the problem. I don’t have anything to prove anymore.
I’m definitely not saying that I’m an awesome writer but once the challenge is beaten, the 50k words written, what else is there to say? I don’t think I’ve even gone back to read any of it. It seems daunting and I’m afraid to read what I’ve written in the throes of typing abandon. It could be anything, but maybe it’s time to let go of the fear. Maybe it’s time to look back.